The Day After Christmas,
I finally have my own my own Blog, its funny this blog could have been created a while ago but it took me forever to come up with just a blog title, i am very bad with making decisions and i would like to apologize to those that have experienced my indecisiveness or that will in the future. Right now, I am laying on my bed, soft lighting coming from my lamp, me wearing a huge bubble jacket in a warm scattered room filled with music of Owl City, Tidal Wave to be more exact. This is my winter break from school. I decided to make a blog because i remember looking back at when i was going to college and how i wrote somewhere on how i was feeling and reading that years later when now i am a senior in college was very precious for me.
Right now i am senior in university, Lamar University to be more exact. I am 19 years old. A bit young to be senior but i don't feel any special or any different that others because i am still going through the withdrawal of life after College. This is a climax part of my life. This coming 2010 brings my last semester at this University. It is relieving no doubt but its also very emotional for me, i am going to miss the comforts of the routined college life, my friends, the people i got to know, the people i will never know. Now i am going to be thrown out to the "Real World" thus this inspired my title because i feel that all i do have is God, Me, Monsieur Lapin whom is my stuffed Bunny and Paris which represents my dream to travel. I feel at this moment thats all i have. School, Family, Friends, those are all institution that builds and surrounds an individual but in what i want to do in the future, the kind of life i predict having. I see my life as just having few things, like my Blog Title.
I don't know what life would bring me, but i would like to look back at this blog, although seem self, i don't know the word like someone who likes them self alot, lol. Oh self indulgent, but i write this, i hope someone out there if anyone reads my story, that would be cool, and maybe finds inspiration or something from it that would be awesome. But still the purpose remains that i hope that maybe 5 years from now i would look back at this Blog and say silly little me, or something that someone would say when they have accomplished what they want and look down at their doubting younger teenage self. That would be also super cool.
To be honest, i am very Scared, I don't know what the future holds for me. I want to be a traveling missionarist, i am that kind of person that want to save the world. i don't want to be a career woman. i have my dad breathing down at me with is expectations, and everyone else. Me myself have never done something so extremely adventurous, because if i fail i have no one to blame but myself. So i think would i ever leave America, would i ever be this traveling person i want to be, would i ever LEAVE AMERICA lol. I have to believe in myself, in something, i am all over the place. But i know there are so many cries of people, children all over the world that i know that my dream would never light out. It gives reason, purpose to my dream and i hope to never forget that even though i doubt myself.
New Year is coming, with nostalgia, excitement, mystery, hopefully content. But i hope to blog soon. i guess this is just an overview of kind of like this blog is going to be about this little Nigerian's girl life named Maryama lol but its all Good. Hope All who ever reads it has a Merry Christmas
